Istance versus Intimacy in child raising
This is the synthesis essay I have written so far but its not quite there. I would like for it to follow the check list that was provided which will be at the bottom of the essay with the two essays provided were my information was gathered from.
Distance Versus Intimacy
Childrearing can be one of the many challenges that many parents face while over the years it has drastically change from letting children be children to be more and more concerned with academic success for the future but all in while parents forget to focus children to be reasonably capable of managing their lives emotionally. This is a complex subject that two compelling writers have given their behalf on the argument. These two such people are Lisa Firestone in her essay, How to Raise an Emotionally Healthy Child and with Steve Nelsonas paper, Leave Your Children Alone!. In Firestoneas essay she argues that by instilling close watch over your children you are better able to ensure stable psychological health. By contrast in his essay Nelson argues that when allowing distance a child is better able to support themselves in future pattens in life. While both have the same core concept of suggesting parents be aware of their childrenas well-being in their emotional health all in while their suggestions for parenting are extreme opposites where Firestone urges intimacy and Nelson encourages to step out of the mold and proposes distance.
Lisa Firestone asserts through her essay that communication is key to understanding the way children respond with their emotions. She claims that parents should be aware of emotional problems that can go untreated. For example when a child is overly consumed by television, video games or excessive eating to cope with emotions such as fear, anger, or anxiety that they might be avoiding. Firestoneas rational on the subject is directed to children that regress rather than progress and challenge unpleasant emotions. She also proposes parents to intervene to help children address the source of unwanted feelings and what to do with them. This can be seen when a kid throws a temper tantrum at a grocery store when they are not getting what they want such as a candy bar instead of approaching this situation with insensitive methods she suggests a parent ask the child what is the reason for their actions and why they are so upset by doing so you can avoid scenes such as these by getting to view the child perspective. Firestoneas train of though for this idea is that children have a different way of expressing their emotions that may not be in any relation to the actual immediate circumstance. According to Firestone if a parent is well aware of mental illness they have a better chance of assessing what should be done. When acknowledging an existing issue such as anxiety of going to school this could be a chance were parents could open communication and help reduce it. When looking at the thought process of Firestoneas notion I can see where being conscious of childrenas mental illness there are ways to alleviate some by acting accordingly and start a plan to defer the situation.
Steve Nelson argues that by permitting distance of parenting a child will better develop their own self-discovery. He claims that parents that are concerned with their academic success they are leaving no room for children to do what children to best, be kids. This is a prime example of when children are placed in after school activities that can reassure their acceptation into a prestigious college in the future by doing so they are removing the time of curiosity and discovery. The rational behind this idea is that kids are having less and less time to do things that are important in the development stages of childhood. He also asserts that parents are to concerned that their children are overly protected and can develop into dependency problems in the future. For example when a child is scared and their guardian comes to the rescue and when this dilemma reoccurs and their parents are no were in sight they might simply shut down and deal with it in a more damaging way. The logic behind Nelsonas ideology is that by hovering and not allowing children to experience their own ways of coping there is really no way that they can develop their own process of dealing with reality. He argues that by creating an environment where children can come to you for guidance is a better way to reinforce an outlet where if they need help they will go to you in a safe place to evaluate the issue. This notion is an example of when a child is dealing with stressful situations they know that they can turn to their parent in a safe place where they can gauge the matter and analyze what can be done and what is the source. The cognitive process of this by Nelson is he has imagined a sort of safe haven for a child to feel safe and acknowledge that their parent is making time to help with a situation that they otherwise felt they couldnat deal with themselves.
The main common points are based on the same ideology of having the childrenas best interest in mind. Both Firestone and Nelson push for addressing childrenas emotional well-being. The same goes for how they agree that parents are either distracted or focused on the wrong things such as physical health, accelerating academics and extracurricular activities while they forget about their childas emotional stability. Both assert that parents should insure the need to be balanced themselves otherwise this can cause actions to be projected on to their childas response.
While viewing their common points one must refer to their arguments differences. Firestone suggests the need for parents to be more involved with their childrenas lives while Nelson suggests an entirely opposite notion that parents should allow distance to permit kids to build better self-resilience. She also wants parents to support their children through open communication with one another whereas Nelson argues for parents to let children support themselves such as when a child has a messy room and then realizes he or she cannot find a specific item they desire to play with, this can trigger emotions such as frustration and anger, in this case they learn they should clean their room to avoid feeling helpless the next time they are in search of belongings. Finally, Firestoneas approach implies more waiting and watching the child yet Nelsonas approach is to create an environment where the child will come to the parent if they are in need of guidance.
Although both these writers have the same notion of having the childrenas best interest at heart by addressing their psychological health whereas their approach to the issue are two extreme methods of applying closeness versus distance. While all this is proposed with their techniques in the right place they are trying to reach the same result, childrenas stable minds. Considering the audience both these writers were trying to reach Firestone can be seen as trying to pull in parents that might be distracted with other agendas where Nelson seems to be reaching for an educational process in childrearing.
Introduction: Write an attention getting opening which expresses the importance of your subject to your reader. Introduce the central issue on which the two writers you will discuss disagree. Introduce both the name of each author and their respective articles. With no more than one sentence each, explain their basic position. Thesis: In essentially one sentence, sum up what the common link is between the essays and at the same time how they differ.
Second Paragraph: Give a summary of the argument and basic points for writer #1.
Third Paragraph: Give a summary of the argument and basic points for writer #2 make sure that its length and attention are balanced with the second paragraph and vice versa.
Fourth Paragraph: Begin synthesis of the two essays by examining how each treat their common po