O EU Regulations provide sufficient protection from child exploitation within member states?

I have received the the following feedback on my order # 807233 (Do EU regulations provide sufficient protection from child exploitation within member states)

The feedback as follows:

In principle we might be able to offer supervision. But before we could consider a full application, you would have to make very substantial changes. Your proposal requires significant refinement and improvements in expression. It is currently unrefined and unfocused. It deals with concepts that it not attempt to define. It does not set boundaries it addresses all sorts of childrens rights across all nations from begging to pornography. It lacks a clear basis for identifying what the rights should be, and how to measure effectiveness or impacts of reforms. It also omits any reference to the UN Convention which is increasingly influential.

Therefore it requires
very substantial changes
significant refinement and improvement in expression
be more focused
concept needs to be defined
there should be more boundaries
it should be specified to certain rights in certain area
what the rights should be?
how to measure effectiveness and impact of reforms
no reference to UN convention

My opinion as follows

Even though my proposal was general, what I wanted to focus on in my research is the issue of using children in beggary to get money, which should not be very common, in the UK specifically and the EU more generally, even if they are your own children. This is a very common issue in the UK but more common in the EU. In addition, the main source of that issue is not the UK but other countries from Eastern Europe, like Romania for example. The UK is getting affecting by such an issue, primarily, because of joining the EU and having the free movements regulations. On the other hand, what is there to prevent the use of children for that purpose of making money mainly in the UK and more generally in EU? That is what we want to examine. Why is it so common after having all these local and global Regulations to protect children?”

However, that needs to be reflected in the amended proposal, along side the changes they requested, in the best possible way.

As a valued customer please advise on the best thing to do.

Regards,

O EU Regulations provide sufficient protection from child exploitation within member states?

It is a research proposal for a PhD application for admission.
check the following link for format Writing_a_Research_Proposal_-_1_March_2012.pdf

Referencing Requirements:
please let me know if you need any resources because I can probably get access to many databases