Ollege Transfer Applicants Personal Statement for Private Schools

I am applying to University of Southern California, Pepperdine University, San Francisco University etc. through the common application.
The prompt for the Personal Essayis: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.(250-650 words)The attached document is my personal statement, but in different prompts.(Please discard after you finish the essay) Please be specific on the focal point and explain that 1. most of the private universities provide students various resources such as clubs, internship, activities. 2.My main goal is to study in the business field which my parent has inspired me earlier.
Please let me know if you have any question from me, the personal statement is the key documentation of the transfer application. I hope we can work together and produce this fabulous work!